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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25870288">i was lost and out of place</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/beware_of_you/pseuds/beware_of_you'>beware_of_you</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>only love [12]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Criminal Minds (US TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, JJ takes to protecting Declan v seriously, JJ's back at the BAU, and i only vaguely remember words with friends, and kept declan's nanny alive, blackbirdxcheetobreath, i fixed the canon again, i've never played online scrabble and it shows, idk how to play online scrabble, its coming to an end, so sue me if this information is wrong, whew whiplash</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 08:27:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,711</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25870288</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/beware_of_you/pseuds/beware_of_you</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>blackbird84 started a new game</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>only love [12]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1838533</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>77</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i was lost and out of place</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The first week back at the BAU is a bit difficult on both herself and Henry, who throws a bit of a tantrum the first few days she goes back. It's hard for her to pry herself away from her son, but she forces herself to stick it out.</p><p>Henry eventually accepts that JJ isn't leaving him forever again and especially is pleased when he gets to spend the night with his Auntie Penelope for a few days when the team gets their first out of town case since JJ rejoined.</p><p>She finds him a babysitter that Garcia clears and deems safe within the first ten minutes of meeting the her. Francesca is a middle aged woman with soft, motherly features and is honestly one of the kindest people JJ's ever met. Henry absolutely adores her so much that he no longer gets upset when JJ has to leave for work because it means he gets to spend time with his awesome babysitter.</p><p>JJ swears Francesca is a gift from the gods (she makes sure her paycheck is substantial to reflect just how grateful she is to have her around.)</p><p>She starts getting Scrabble notifications from a username <em>blackbird84</em> a few days after she's settled back at the BAU.</p><p>Her heart races when she gets the first notification, nearly dropping her phone on the concrete in surprise.</p><p>It's Emily.</p><p><em>blackbird84</em> started a new game, playing the first word before sending off the game invite to <em>cheetobreath</em> (shut up, JJ was drunk when she made her GameCenter user). It's one word, played for a total of eleven points: S A F E.</p><p>She breathes out a relieved breath she hadn't even known she'd been holding.</p><p><em>Safe</em>.</p><p>Emily was telling her that she was safe. Wherever she was.</p><p>Her fingers hesitate over her own tiles, using the E in Emily's word to complete her own.</p><p>H O M E.</p><p>The play sends, her screen darkening slightly with a white checkmark appearing on her screen to let her know her play was sent.</p><p><em>blackbird84 </em>sends back a notification right away.</p><p>M I S S I N G, using an existing S and I already on the board.</p><p>Her throat constricts, eyes blurring slightly with tears as she sends off her next play.</p><p>P R O M I S E.</p><p><em>blackbird84 </em>responds with T R U S T.</p><p>Her chest feels heavy as she wipes her eyes, willing herself not to cry in her office (especially since Garcia can see her on the security cameras if she really wants to.) She uses the E in safe and the O in promise to send off L O V E.</p><p>She starts when she hears knocking coming from her office door. She quickly composes herself, locking her phone and setting it face down on her desk as she quietly allows the person to come in. She smiles politely at the young intern that just came in last week, taking the stack of files from her arms with a murmured "thanks". She carefully places them down on their desk and starts looking through them to determine where the team needs to go next.</p><p>She gets Scrabble notifications from Emily every few days or so. Sometimes, the words she plays are random like M A X I M I Z E and S N E A K E R (which puts her so far on the board and just proves that she still, and probably will always, absolutely kick JJ's ass in online Scrabble.) Other days, she plays words that key JJ in on her location without giving too much about it away. They don't use the chat connected in the app, it's way too risky for either of them. But it's still nice, and definitely easier, for JJ to know that Emily is safe out there.</p><p>With the help of Penelope and Derek, she locates Declan, which is not an easy task by a long shot.</p><p>Penelope had already attempted to locate him weeks after Emily's funeral with no luck. "Which is a good thing," she assures JJ now as she types away on her keyboard. "It's very, very good. If I'm having this much trouble finding him, imagine the luck Doyle's having."</p><p>"Emily kept his existence on the down low after staging his murder," Derek confirms from right beside the blonde profiler. "Once we find him, we might only have a small window of time before Doyle does, too."</p><p>JJ's hand curls around the back of Penelope's chair, eyes glued to the screen. "Then we'll be ready for him."</p><p>Declan attends a private boarding school just outside of Arlington, Virginia. The building is tall and plain, surrounded by thick, black metal poles with sharp spikes poking up through the top. There's a security guard posted right outside the gates in a small room behind a window to look out of. He's knowledgeable on who picks up who, does a full scan of ID's of the designated guardians of the children inside. With a bit more digging, Penelope informs JJ and Derek that only Emily, Declan's nanny Louise and a man named Tom Kohler were the only ones with permission to take Declan off the campus.</p><p>Derek has complete control over the case: he's the one that organizes when he and JJ will stake it out Declan at the school (the guard lets them be after the first time when Derek flashes him his badge), he's the one that contacts Louise and keeps her in the loop, the one that organizes the files and gets all the information first. JJ mainly stands by as a third set of eyes, lets Derek take charge because she wouldn't feel right for barging back in and commanding things when he clearly has it under control.</p><p>When Doyle starts showing up on the street cameras near the school, Derek gathers two agents and sends them out to watch over Louise at Tom's house for her protection. For the first few days, JJ silently allows it to happen, ignoring the gnawing feeling in her gut.</p><p>Something isn't right about the whole situation. She's almost entirely certain that Doyle knows now that they're watching his every move. He makes no attempt to flee, never seems panicked at the prospect of being caught before he can get to his son. It doesn't sit right with her. It's as if he's trying to stop someone else from getting to Declan, and it's not them.</p><p>"I think we need to bring Louise and Declan here," she blurts out suddenly a week after they had originally spotted Doyle. "In protective custody."</p><p>Penelope and Derek look at her in surprise.</p><p>"Why would we do that?" Derek asks. "We have two agents with the nanny constantly and we always have surveillance on Declan. All we need to do is get catch Doyle off guard and we'll have the son of a bitch, JJ."</p><p>She brings her hand up to her mouth, nervously chewing on her thumb nail with a shake of her head. "Something doesn't sit right with me about this. He's gotta know that we're close to getting him and yet he's made no changes to his routine. He knows something we don't."</p><p>"What do you mean, Jayje?" Penelope asks.</p><p>"I think he thinks someone else is after Declan," JJ explains. "Someone that's scares him way more than we do."</p><p>"You don't think it's his ego at play?" Derek asks in disbelief. "Telling us that we don't scare him?"</p><p>JJ shakes her head firmly. "Emily almost killed him," she points out quietly. "We were dangerously close to catching him and he ran. You're going to tell me that now that we're this close again, he's suddenly going to stick around and let us get him? He's a coward. He runs. Until it involves his son." She points to a still frame of Declan on Penelope's monitor. "Doyle thinks there's someone out there that is going to hurt Declan, and he knows it's not us. If he's sticking around, it's because he knows there's someone more dangerous out there."</p><p>"What can we do?" Derek asks her, running a hand over his head slowly to emphasize his stress. "We can't get together a swat team or get an order to bring them in until something happens."</p><p>JJ stands her ground, folding her arms across her chest. "We can't wait for that to happen. People will get hurt."</p><p>"More could get killed if we don't wait," he sighs. "We can't risk this, JJ, you know that."</p><p>Her eyes soften, shoulders falling limp as the tension leaves her body. "I know we can't, but we can't just stand around and wait for someone to get hurt or killed before we make a move. Something about this just seems off. Let me at least talk with Hotch?"</p><p>He sighs long and hard, turning briefly to Penelope before he nods. "Okay. If he says we can get something put together, we will."</p><p>"Thank you," she whispers gratefully, giving his arm a squeeze as she exits Penelope's office and heads towards the main bullpen.</p><p>It takes her days to convince Hotch to take her theory seriously, and even then, a few days more to convince him to give the go ahead to bring Declan and Louise into their protective custody (Tom is apparently overseas on business). He only gives his official go ahead when Doyle's car is spotted less than a block away from Tom Kohler's house.</p><p>A huge weight feels like it's been lifted off JJ's chest when she and Derek finally get Louise and Declan into the back of the SUV as discreetly as they possibly can.</p><p>They bring them directly back to the headquarters in Quantico, Derek leaving with Hotch almost as soon as he drops off Declan and Louise. Hotch orders JJ to stay back to keep an eye on the two just incase while they head back to the house with a SWAT unit. Rossi and Spence take another unit towards Doyle's residence.</p><p>Though initially a little pressed about being left behind, JJ takes to protecting Louise and Declan as seriously as possible.</p><p>Louise is a kind, very quietly spoken woman who holds a deep amount of gratitude towards the agent for keeping Declan safe. It's obvious to JJ just how much she cares for the boy, from the soft, motherly look in her eyes, the way she carefully brushes his curls back with her fingers to comfort him. There's a special smile that seems only reserved for Declan, so warm and full of love that it makes the boy relax even under these stressful conditions.</p><p>Declan reminds JJ so much of Henry with his wide, innocent eyes and unruly curls. He's quiet, never makes eye contact with the agent when she speaks to him, yet thanks her politely when she brings them both a cup of water. The slightly frightened look in his eyes says that he doesn't quite grasp what's going on, or why he's here in a building full of strangers, each armed with a hefty Glock hanging off their hip.</p><p>Louise brings him down, whispering softly to him in a language JJ can't quite place while carefully cradling his face in her hands. Declan's eyes brighten slightly, and his knee stops bouncing by the time she's done talking to him. He ends up laying her head on her shoulder, seeming a lot less tense than he had initially been.</p><p>The scene makes JJ relax significantly, silently thanking Hotch for giving the order to bring both of them in when he did. She doesn't know how it would have been on Declan if Louise got hurt, or vice versa.</p><p>They wait in the spare room just outside the bullpen in silence as they [correction, JJ] waits for updates. It's all they can do. She begins to twist at her ring, and when that doesn't do anything, bite at her thumb nail again. She remains on the couch while Louise and Declan move to the table in the middle of the room. They start a quiet game of chess, the boy only having to be <em>slightly </em>persuaded by his nanny to play.</p><p>JJ nearly bursts into tears when her phone finally rings.</p><p>She smiles politely over at Louise and Declan, who startle at the sudden noise. "Excuse me just a moment. I have to take this," she murmurs, holding a finger up. "I'll be right outside the door, but—" She peaks out the door and waves over another agent. She grabs his arm carefully, dragging him in the room until his head pokes in. "This is Agent Anderson," she introduces quickly. "He'll stay in here with you guys until I get back, okay?"</p><p>Louise nods and shoots her a brief smile, allowing her to exit and walk down the hall slightly. "Derek?" she answers when she's finally far enough away from the door. She glances up over towards the closed door (force of habit, she supposes.) "What's going on?"</p><p>"Everyone's fine," he assures her quickly. "No one's hurt. We have one man in custody. Richard Gerace," he tells her over the phone. "He cut off the feed for the cameras just outside of the house. Got him just before he broke into the house."</p><p>She sucks in a breath and nods quickly. "Good. That's good. What about Rossi and Reid?"</p><p>There's a pause that makes her stomach plummet, her head spin even as Derek continues talking.</p><p>"Well, they got to the apartment and immediately found a man's body on the steps. Single gunshot wound to the head. Garcia IDed the body as Lachlan McDermott," he starts. "They ended up chasing and taking down a woman out in the parking lot after she shot at them. No ID on her yet, but Reid said she looks suspiciously similar to Declan."</p><p>"His birth mother," JJ suggests quietly, peering up once again at the door.</p><p>"Possibly," Derek replies with a hum. "That seems to be what Reid thinks, too."</p><p>She nods slowly, leaning back against the wall and running a hand through her hair. She exhales as her head softly hits the concrete of the wall. "What about Doyle?"</p><p>"Dead in his apartment," he replies just as quietly with a long, drawn out sigh. "Can't say I feel bad for him."</p><p>She looks up at the lights in the ceiling, body relaxing at the news. "So this is all over?"</p><p>"It looks that way," he confirms. "Hotch had Garcia call Kohler and let him know what's going on. He's on his way back right now."</p><p>"Okay," she murmurs softly, nearly laughing in disbelief. This whole nightmare is finally over. "Good. I'll let them know." A pause. "Thank you."</p><p>"You did good, kid," he praises just as softly. "We're all proud of you. Em would be, too."</p><p>JJ's throat constricts. "I know she would," she ends up replying. "She's proud of you, too. I'll see you guys back soon?"</p><p>"Within the hour," he confirms before ending the call.</p><p>JJ stares at her phone in her hands, nodding slowly down at it before she pushes herself off the wall. She goes back in the room, quietly thanking Anderson with a small smile before he excuses himself back out in the hall.</p><p>Declan has his back towards the door, doesn't turn around to face JJ when she comes back in. His focus is intent on the chess board on the table in front of him. Louise peers her head up over Declan's, looking at JJ with a worried expression that she's become too familiar with over the years. <em>Is it over?</em></p><p>She just smiles softly in response, giving a slight nod.</p><p>Louise's expression relaxes instantly, a smile breaking out on her face at the news. Sensing a change in his nanny's mood, Declan looks up from the chess game. His smile is wide when Louise reaches over and strokes through his hair with a grin.</p><p>JJ glances down at her phone when it buzzes with a notification.</p><p><em>blackbird84</em> played the word A I R P L A N E.</p><p>She quickly sends her response, sliding her phone back in her pocket with a content smile.</p><p><em>cheetobreath </em>played the word E N D I N G.</p>
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